Monday, September 23, 2013

You Have To Wonder Why So Many People Love Adult Dating Sites

By Jayde Johannsen


Adult dating sites are ridiculously popular these days! I visited one recently and it boasted over 34 million members. How does that happen? I've never seen such numbers at normal dating sites. Why are they so popular? These numbers make adult dating sites look mainstream, while normal dating site with their relatively paltry numbers look positively "niche".

This popularity confounds me because adult dating sites are based on a concept of promiscuity. This behavior does not reflect the real world. Society is much more conservative than the concept of "Adult Dating" So how did this part of the industry become so popular?

Clearly the dating site "profile" plays a big part in this. It gives us anonymity from the people we are communicating with, and the rest of the world, till we build a level of trust. As such, the exposure to rejection and pain associated with such rejection is much less on the internet than in real life. Ie. There is very little opportunity for public humiliation. But does this allow people to be more direct, courageous and honest about chasing their sexual desires? Is "under the cloak of darkness" a very real factor here?

If so, it will be interesting to see in coming years, whether the adult dating phenomena will have any impact on society. For example, will the new "honesty" skills we learn on these types of websites translate into "honesty" skills in social situations.

How will dating evolve? Will flirting and good manners gradually disappear, to be replaced by a more direct form of communication. A direct question followed by a direct answer, all based on a courage born from a loss of sensitivity to rejection.

Or could it change things in the opposite direction? Will the fear of rejection in public become more acute, for its absence on the internet? If so, will the next generation of daters be more averse to socializing and meeting people outside websites?

These questions while interesting, I'll leave for the social historians to answer. I have many too many people to contact today. I've just joined a new site and there are millions of people I haven't met yet.




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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Advice On How To Confidently Chat With Women

By Sarah J Connelly


Confidence in talking to women is not easily achieved. Some guys take years before they gather enough courage to muster a word when talking to women. However, research has it that the main factor that stops any man from achieving confidence is the fear of rejection. Rejection is not always an easy thing to swallow, as there are guys who cannot accept that a girl that they have been crushing on for a while has just rejected them to go out on a date. This, my friend, is where all the "feel good" products and services that the world has to offer, comes in.

So how do you really get the confidence in talking to women? First, look at yourself. Assess how you present yourself to the world. Make sure that your hair is tidy and clean. Shower, you need to smell good. Use of deodorant is a must - body odor is a big turn off. How about wearing cologne? Just make sure your cologne is not too strong. How about the clothes that you wear? Make sure that it is clean and not crumpled or scruffy. Personal hygiene is very important. How you dress and present your self is very important and is the primary thing in building self-confidence.

Women are attracted to confident men, which is why it is important to put confidence first. In doing so, everything will follow. This is why a man should analyze himself: is it the way he looks. Is it the way he dresses up? Or maybe it's about the way he talks to people? In other words, a man must have himself analyzed of the possible things that will hinder him from achieving confidence. Some stories has it that men with insecurities are usually the ones that have the hard time in achieving confidence when it comes to talking to women. Insecurities, whatever they are, will always be a big confidence killer.

Get rid of those insecurities, no matter what they are. Usually, it is about personal appearance, or lack of intelligence, but whatever they are, always remember that identifying them is one step, but it is just half the battle. Do something about these insecurities and do not let them hinder you from mustering enough confidence. if you know that this girl is attracted to the smart guy in class, then simply be the smartest guy in class. Use this insecurity as a motivation for you. I tell you what, once you overcome this insecurity, you will surprisingly find that you will feel more confident about yourself. It will lead you to feeling good and then you will find yourself talking with confidence.

Now we are done with reinventing yourself. You are aware of how you present yourself to the outside world. Let's say you are out in a club or a restaurant or in a bookstore and you want to approach that gorgeous looking lady. Next thing you do is make eye contact to let her know that you are interested. Create eye contact but do not stare. Looking and staring are two different things. Look as if you just saw an angel standing where she is, and that you are awed and excited to approach her. Again be mindful of your actions. When you have her gaze try to smile. There is something disarming about a smile that even men and women can't resist. Of course give her your genuine smile like you are happy to see her. If she smiles back then that is your queue to approach her. Just be respectful and charming and you will be ok.




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Online Dating

By Jayde Johanssen


Back in the day, online dating was seen as something that only the socially inept engaged in. It was a last resort measure, a desperate move. No normal person would agree to date someone they had never met in person. That proscription has, for the most part though, been abandoned. Hundreds of thousands of people are taking to the interwebs to find romance. True love on the net has become fashionable, so much so, that more people now than ever before are connecting online. The internet is a top destination for romance. Even the older generation is getting in on the game.

It's a huge industry. Sites like Match.com, Plenty of Fish and eHarmony are raking in the dough as users sign up and log-in in the pursuit of true love. Such is the popularity of the field that more and more online dating sites are popping up each day, catering to more discriminating customers.

For the more selective, niche dating sites are a big draw. A niche dating site is usually focused on religion or ethnicity, but there are hundreds, thousands even, of sites out there which target social groups such as self proclaimed geeks or nerds. There are dating sites geared at hipsters and cyclers. You can even find matchmaking sites for tattoo enthusiasts, animal lovers, republicans, democrats and oenophiles (wine lovers).

If you're interested in it, you can bet that there's a dating site out there.

Many people, those who have never participated in online dating, are quick to question why. What's the point, they wonder. Why would you want to date someone who you've never met in person, never seen in the flesh? It's a legitimate question, the internet after all, isn't known for being the safest, most reputable place to find a date.

And traditionally, it is a good thing to know what your date looks like, in person.

Online daters will be the first to tell their critics that they aren't up to speed with the times. Meeting people at Bingo or at the local club is old hat. Traditional dating is really hit or miss. You have no idea what a person's interests are before hand. With online dating, you can peruse profiles and find people that you actually think will be a good fit. There's also handy matching software which helps daters in the compatibility department. Online dating is a lot more selective. It's easier in a sense. Plus it's more casual; people are more at ease within their own homes. The whole dating ritual of going out and ending up stuck in a conversation with someone you can't stand can be avoided completely.

Having someone to talk to, especially in rough times can be very helpful. Online dating is great just for finding people to share your stories with. A lot of people make lifelong friends through online dating.

Those who criticize online dating fail to realize that all the deceptions and lies that seem to plague the online dating scene are also characteristic of meatspace dating.




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Tips On How Do I Get Back Together With An Ex-Boyfriend

By Kristie Ronalds


Have you been wondering how do I get back together with an ex-boyfriend? The response to that will depend on just how long the two of you have been apart, the reason you broke up and who initiated the break up? These things will influence the method you should take.

In the majority of cases it will be easier to get him back if you broke up with him but you weren't too harsh when you did. Unfortunately, if he broke up with you it might be a little tougher to get him back, since if he wanted to come back he probably would have already.

Still, you never know so it's worth a try. Have a go at some of these tips to get him back:

1. Never wallow, moan, cry, threaten, stalk, or beg at any time. All these things are a huge turn off. Remember, you're trying to get him to come back to you not take out a restraining order!

2. Try and spend some time with your family and friends. Have some fun. It may seem impossible but remember that everyone likes to be around a winner. Remind him about the fun loving woman he first fell in love with. If you go out and have fun, word will most likely get back to him and he'll start to think he's missing out on something. I'm assuming you don't want to act like a child and play games, so for that reason I'm telling you to not play the "I'm going to make you jealous so you take me back" game. Avoid doing that at all costs, it's not fair to the new guy and it's quite childish.

3. Give him plenty of space. Stop the 'accidentally bumping into him' right now. If you are always hanging around in the background, not only will he never be able to miss you, but it's likely he'll get used to thinking of you as his sure thing back up plan. Not exactly the way you want him to think of you.

Here you go, three simple tips to answer the question: how do I get back together with an ex-boyfriend?




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Sunday, July 8, 2012

Online Dating - Don't Forget, Its Supposed To Be Fun

By Jayde Johanssen


All this advice about avoiding scams and predators when dating can leave you bewildered, and afraid to try it. Well, I am hear to remind you not to throw the baby out with the bath water. Its not all bad. Meeting people is not that hard and its not that scary.

So I am taking a different approach with this article. Instead of making it confusing, difficult or scary, I am hopefully going to remind you that dating should be simple and fun. That's it. So here are my top three tips for fun dating.

Tip 1. Make a plan. You need to understand two things before you can make your plan. You need to understand the kind of person you are looking for. You also need to be aware of the type of experience you are looking for with that person.

Many people are full of advice about what you want, what type of people are right for you and what experiences are ok to have. The problem is that these people's opinions more reflect what is right for them, not what is right for you. So if you listen to them rather than yourself, you are starting your dating process by looking for a date and experience that is suitable for someone else.

Be true to your own needs and desires and you will find happiness. That is what happiness is after all. Recognise that there will be hiccups along the way, so if a date or relationship doesn't work, don't see them as mistakes, see them as part of the journey. The failed relationships actually allow you, through comparison, to enjoy the successful ones so much more.

My second tip addresses the dating site you join. You've done your thinking, you know what you want, so join the niche dating sites that specifically address the qualities you are looking for. That's what they are there for, to pre-qualify people so you don't waste your time.

You don't have to go to a general dating site where it is much more hit and miss. Some examples of specific dating sites include: Adult Dating Sites for an open and steamy experience; Asian Dating Sites if you are attracted to eastern culture; Christian Dating Sites if christian values are important in your partner; Gay and Lesbian Dating Sites if you are looking for a same sex partner; Jewish Dating Sites if jewish values are important in your partner; Seniors Dating Sites if you are looking for a mature partner; Dating Sites for the Tall, for when size matters; Dating Wealthy Partners for a more sophisticated experience

My third and final tip is to always keep it safe. You'll never have a fun time if you're not feeling safe. So apply common sense and your own set of safety precautions to all real life dating experiences.

Never escalate with someone that you are not yet comfortable with or don't feel safe with. This means don't give your email address or phone number to someone who hasn't won your confidence on the dating site. Following that, don't meet someone who has not made you feel comfortable when communicating by email or phone. Finally, never meet someone privately when they did not make you feel safe in the public meeting. This all sounds like common sense, but it is always harder when you are in the middle of it and getting pressured by the person on the other end, so be strong.

After that first meeting you are no longer internet dating, so your experience should progress along the same lines as any developing relationship.

Dating should always be fun, you are finding out about yourself and others. For greatest success though remember - Safe, Specific and Simple.




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Thursday, July 5, 2012

How To Date A Partner From A Different Culture

By Jayde Johanssen


When you start dating you are actually inviting someone into your life. When you form a relationship with someone, all of a sudden their opinions about you and what you do, become important. Therefore you invite them to have influence in your life. When you think about it like that, its an interesting process.

This is a good thing when the person you date and then develop a relationship with, helps you make decisions in life that make you a better person in your own eyes. It is a bad thing though when the person you are forming a relationship with, tries to make you a better person in their eyes, with little or no regard to what you want out of life.

Culture and religion can play a big part in this, especially if your date has strong beliefs or tendencies along either of these lines. The reason why culture and religion can play a big part in this is because the rules of both tend to be strict (to varying degrees) with little or no room for compromise.

Two of the pillars of a successful relationship are compromise and understanding. As such, cross religion or cross cultural relationships are sometimes difficult. This is because, due to "devotion to the cause", the religious person's views and attitudes can sometimes be rigid, breaking down the precepts of compromise and understanding.

But having said that, I am not saying religious or cultural beliefs in you or a potential partner are bad, or good. In fact I am not even saying they will inhibit or help the development of your relationship. Rather, I am saying, depending on the people involved, they can do either.

You may be Asian and eastern culture may be very important to you. Dating someone else who places similar importance on such traditions can promote harmony in your relationship and assist with your personal growth. This is due to your synchronised life views.

If you have not lived your life within an Asian culture and have little interest in it, then dating someone who was very strong in this regard could cause problems. It could be difficult to understand some of the values this person shared with you and some of their opinions about the thing you do. A successful relationship in this regard will take lots of compromise and understanding.

Similarly with religion, a devout person of Christian or Jewish faith could be a much better person having a partner of similar faith, helping and supporting them through the matters of conscience particular to those religions. Similar beliefs in matters of sexuality also help in setting boundaries in the early stages of relationships in these cases. This is why religious dating sites also exist.

If you do start dating someone from a different religion, its really advisable you do some homework to understand the precepts of that religion. You relationship will face some challenges because of this alone and understanding really is the first step towards compromise and resolving the challenges. It can't be a one way street though, you partner must make an effort to understand where you came from also. Compromise always has two sides. Its about meeting in the middle.

With inter-cultural dating there is no perfect way to navigate the potential challenges that will come up from time to time. With inter-religion dating there is no perfect way to navigate the potential challenges that will come up from time to time. Lets be honest, with dating generally there is no perfect way to navigate the potential challenges that will come up from time to time. This article was never about saying what is right or wrong, it was only ever written to raise some points to think about. So if you find yourself dating someone from a different culture or religion, spend some time learning about where they came from. It will promote understanding, compromise and harmony in your relationship.




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Monday, June 18, 2012

Asian Dating Sites - As Diverse As Asia Itself

By Jayde Johanssen


Asian dating sites have really started to break down over the last few years. Previously, an "Asian" dating site covered all cultures within Asia, now you are seeing more and more dating sites which are specific to a culture within Asia. It makes sense really, the different countries within Asia really do have vastly different cultures, meaning the people within Asia also see life very differently from other Asian cultures.

When you join a dating site, you do so to get in touch with people you want to meet. The main point about Asian dating sites is that they use Asian culture as the starting point to define the type of people you want to meet. This is a great strategy if you are Asian and/or love Asian culture. If you want this culture to be part of your life its important you surround yourself with other people of a similar mind.

Culture is a way of life, its not a part time hobby. By immersing yourself in a culture and surrounding yourself with the people of that culture, you yourself also will find yourself living within the bounds of that culture. This means you will interpret life as do the members of that culture and live within the rules of acceptable behaviour that define that culture.

If you are being culturally specific when you are dating, it follows that this is because that culture's way of life appeals to you to the extent that you want to live that way (or are currently living that way). To be culturally specific though, you need to be culturally specific. "Asian" is a label which explains many different and diverse cultures. Its just not specific enough.

For example, a person from India is Asian, but lives in a very different culture than someone from Japan. If you go to an Asian dating site, you will meet both and need to filter through people contacting you from both cultures (not to mention all the other Asian cultures also) So if you are looking for a specific culture, go and join a dating site specific to that culture.

Reflecting this reality, at Dating Down Under, we have spent a lot of time developing the Asian Dating section of our website, to give proper and meaningful reviews of the dating sites which represent the diverse cultures of Asia. From the starting point of "Asia", we break down this section of our website down into the specific cultures, then find, join and reviewing the dating sites specific to those cultures.

In following this process, we believe we can best help you find the partner you are looking for, as quickly and efficiently as possible

Good luck with you search. Finding that someone special is quite a journey, often taking you to places you' never dream of. For the greatest success we often suggest to keep your search specific, simple and most importantly, safe.




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