Sunday, July 8, 2012

Online Dating - Don't Forget, Its Supposed To Be Fun

By Jayde Johanssen


All this advice about avoiding scams and predators when dating can leave you bewildered, and afraid to try it. Well, I am hear to remind you not to throw the baby out with the bath water. Its not all bad. Meeting people is not that hard and its not that scary.

So I am taking a different approach with this article. Instead of making it confusing, difficult or scary, I am hopefully going to remind you that dating should be simple and fun. That's it. So here are my top three tips for fun dating.

Tip 1. Make a plan. You need to understand two things before you can make your plan. You need to understand the kind of person you are looking for. You also need to be aware of the type of experience you are looking for with that person.

Many people are full of advice about what you want, what type of people are right for you and what experiences are ok to have. The problem is that these people's opinions more reflect what is right for them, not what is right for you. So if you listen to them rather than yourself, you are starting your dating process by looking for a date and experience that is suitable for someone else.

Be true to your own needs and desires and you will find happiness. That is what happiness is after all. Recognise that there will be hiccups along the way, so if a date or relationship doesn't work, don't see them as mistakes, see them as part of the journey. The failed relationships actually allow you, through comparison, to enjoy the successful ones so much more.

My second tip addresses the dating site you join. You've done your thinking, you know what you want, so join the niche dating sites that specifically address the qualities you are looking for. That's what they are there for, to pre-qualify people so you don't waste your time.

You don't have to go to a general dating site where it is much more hit and miss. Some examples of specific dating sites include: Adult Dating Sites for an open and steamy experience; Asian Dating Sites if you are attracted to eastern culture; Christian Dating Sites if christian values are important in your partner; Gay and Lesbian Dating Sites if you are looking for a same sex partner; Jewish Dating Sites if jewish values are important in your partner; Seniors Dating Sites if you are looking for a mature partner; Dating Sites for the Tall, for when size matters; Dating Wealthy Partners for a more sophisticated experience

My third and final tip is to always keep it safe. You'll never have a fun time if you're not feeling safe. So apply common sense and your own set of safety precautions to all real life dating experiences.

Never escalate with someone that you are not yet comfortable with or don't feel safe with. This means don't give your email address or phone number to someone who hasn't won your confidence on the dating site. Following that, don't meet someone who has not made you feel comfortable when communicating by email or phone. Finally, never meet someone privately when they did not make you feel safe in the public meeting. This all sounds like common sense, but it is always harder when you are in the middle of it and getting pressured by the person on the other end, so be strong.

After that first meeting you are no longer internet dating, so your experience should progress along the same lines as any developing relationship.

Dating should always be fun, you are finding out about yourself and others. For greatest success though remember - Safe, Specific and Simple.




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